I am amazed and chagrined by the increasing kerfluffle about torture of prisoners of war. I mean, really, what else are they good for? It's not as if torture isn't sanctioned by the Lord Almighty. Revelations 9:5 says, "And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months; and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man.” I'm not sure if the Lord wants us only to torture people for 5 months; I think rather that he's just saying those particular torture beneficiaries would only be able to resist the truth for 5 months, and thus that only 5 months was neccessary.
Beyond the text of the Good Book we have numerous examples of the righteous and proper use of torture against the enemies of God. The Holy Roman Apostolic Church knew how to get the job done when it formed the Holy Inquisitions to stamp out heresies of all forms. Should our American President, as the head of our holy nation under God, do less while striving to stamp out the Mohammedian heresy? The glorious names of great men of the harrow and brand, like the great judge Tomas de Torquemada, echo down throught the ages with tales of their mighty and heroic deeds in the name of the pure faith. Torquemada! Now there was a jurist after my own sinewy and vascularly stout heart!
Why this modern condemnation of torture by the MSM? Simple. Those who oppose torturing prisoners in the war on terror are terrorist sympathizers, and may as well be terrorists themselves. We should torture them and find out. They want us to fail in our holy mission to stamp out the Mohemmedian heresy. They want to leave us helpless and mewling like liberals before our vile enemies. They want the world to scorn us and vilify us a weak little girls, without the will and determination to protect ourselves from the scum of this world.
They will argue that some of those who are tortured know nothing, or are innocent of any crime: on the contrary, they are all conspirators in the spread of the Mohammedian heresy and must be purified of their sin against the One True Faith. So you see, even if we do not develop actionable intelligence, we are still bringing souls back to God. And that is enough reason to torture them.
Now, I have an appointmet to have my massive and pendulous scrotum exfoliated with silicon carbide sandpaper while I ponder the great jurisprudential feats of Fra Torquemada.
